The Brain Scrub

Learning to be with silence and not people pleasing

Jeff works with Glen in the episode on his need to force dialogue in order to feel safe. It's important to note that beliefs we have, either limit or enable our behaviors - hence the dialogue on trying to shift them from what we learned earlier in life. 

A new Co-Host and the importance of Social Connection

I am pleased to introduce a new co-host. Jeff and I have been amazing friends since 2006 and both have self-awareness experience. many challenges we faced, and as a result, have become stronger men resulting in greater authenticity. We have learned about the power of personal agency and I am looking forward on taking on this new journey with a dear friend and at times, my support person. This episode is about the power of social connection.

The ease of trust

My wife and I recently returned from Vietnam, a communist country. I took many valuable lessons away but the main one was, how life is so much more content and peaceful when you know everyone has your best interests in mind. This not only reduces worry, fear, greed, the unhoused, but also attachment to negative thinking. Three weeks here provided me an opportunity to start letting go and trusting. I commit to doing my best to continue this and overcome my limiting beliefs.

Dealing with rejection with a focus on alienation or estrangement

10 tips on what I am and have used to live into my best life and one of self-love and gratitude.

Surviving Parental Alienation - A song of hope and awareness

Many parents find out about this criminal like act after its too late. My hope is that this song makes a difference in this World. https://sonauto.ai/song/53e1ed50-5bac-408b-903b-7a2c6f1f4b85
 
Youtube: https://youtu.be/YgoEmfXbq0k?si=iTui3_lLz50gImb8
Original Lyrics:
Like a coward I lived my early life,Never could stand up to an abusive x wife
Guys like me sometimes learn too late,Feared speaking up in a cloud of hate.
Then you were born and I loved your touch,Playing around, being goofy, i adored you so much,
When you were four your mom left me,Thank god, she set a coward free.
We lived separate lives and I found new love,An integrated family was something I could never dream of.
I parented you in a fog of fear,Your mom didn’t trust me so wanted you near.Never seemed to have time alone,Constantly being checked up on monitored via telephone,Are you safe, are you okay, Did your dad take care of you today.Never free to be with you,I always felt I was being scolded by a shrew.
Day by day it ate me away,As she threatened to take you one day.
When the Lion in me was set free,I expressed to her a clear boundary.
That was the day this all went to shit,3 months later you recited your moms break away skit.
I tried to fight for you,In the midst of threats if I do.
Sadly the court listened to lies,Many targeted parents like me cast aside.
I will never give up on you and me,Despite estranging my whole family.
Parental Alienation I suspect is at play,Many like me likely won’t see out kid another day.
What is left are broken hearts,Believing the lies, not the smarts.
Fabricating stories to make one’s claim,And displaying behaviours of no personal blame,
I wish I knew back then what Is share in this song,I missed out on your life for far too long
History repeats itself i now realize,Fatherless kids may have the same demise.
When one is faced with silence and lies,Rationality and justice won’t listen to the cries.
One can’t beat the anger, ego, and hate,The other may have a disorder and have power to manipulate.
My wish for you and me,Is we grow up with less insecurity.
Should I die before we get old,Please fight against alienation be bold.
You will always be part of me,On that note, for now I will set me free.To all those abandoned parents out there, please stand strong,Be brave, be bold, live your best life and share this song.
Chorus:
Stealing a child from a loving parent that cares,Not working together so both can share,A family law system that refuses to see the light,Another child, parent and family never to unite.

The consequences of abandonment issues

Whether you lost connection with a friend, sibling, or your child, it's a good time to reflect on what you can learn about yourself and whether your actions or inactions had anything to do with it. Of course, parental alienation cases are far more difficult as you may be dealing with an alienating parent that is out to get you, one that has a high conflict personality, or one who is determined to meet their agenda: I win - you lose.
This episode is about the power of Internal Family Systems understanding and therapy, amongst other things.

Wanting to be wanted during life transition

I am approaching retirement and now realizing the struggles of leaving a life-stage where I am compensated to be needed. This becomes even more of a struggle as an alienated parent.

The POSSIBLE link between Mass Shootings and Family Systems

I know all too well of the impact of being estranged or alienated. Justin, the biological father of the killer in the recent Tumbler Ridge tragedy, was, and according to his statement, not based on his desire to not be part of his child's life. Too often we praise single parents for the hard work they do - what if, that single parent never let the other one in (Unless due to legitimate reasons such as ongoing physical and mental abuse)? Family law in my opinion, needs to start paying attention to these situations and in my experience, our many calls for reform of how we manage family challenges and systems, are being ignored in Canada and many other parts of the world. Some countries are starting to get that mental health issues, start with the parents and/or the environment or dynamic they create.My heart and tears, as well as my anger and sadness goes out to all those impacted by this tragedy. I can't begin to imagine what you are going though.